You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
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