I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Randomize
