Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
