we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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