the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
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