One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
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