Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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