Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Randomize
