I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Randomize
