There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
