i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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