Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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