Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
