Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
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