You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
