i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
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