One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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