Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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