what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
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