just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
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