we're blogging at a bar
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Randomize
