have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Randomize
