he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
