you have to choose: penises or morals?
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Randomize
