Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
