I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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