He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
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