Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Randomize
