Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
