she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
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