I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
that's an acceptable place to lick
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Randomize
