I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
