I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
