grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
