So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
This baby is an asshole
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
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