I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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