what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
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