Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
