i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
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