that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
