Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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