I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Randomize
