you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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