This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Randomize
