How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
