Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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