he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I use my feet as sexual weapons
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
