i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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