Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
