I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
